3/09/2014

Positive Thinking Needs Limits!!

 I'm surrounded by positive people, and that's a dangerous trap.


I. The Negative Side of Positivity
I'm a positive person. Most people know me as being very happy and positive-thinking. And I am that, most of the time, but most people don't know that I also love negative thinking, skepticism, criticism, and the Underdog mentality. Embrace both! Positive thinking has to have its limits.  No one wants to border on delusional, but that's what overly positive thoughts/expectations can sometimes do! I think I've made that mistake before.

At the same time, you don't wanna be a Debbie Downer, or a Negative Neddy.  You can use both positive and negative to empower your life. Mis-use both and it can stifle your life.


Just so you know I'm not speaking out of my ass, here's an NYU/Hamburg psychology article on how "Positive Fantasies about idealized futures sap energy."
http://www.psych.nyu.edu/oettingen/Barry%20Kappes,%20H.,%20&%20Oettingen,%20G.%20%282011%29.%20JESP.pdf

Here's a poignant article I found a while back (skimming facebook) on The Powerlessness of Positive Thinking:



II. Co-Existence of Negative and Positive
Need both
In regards to embracing both, just accept that both positive and negative exist, and also co-exist, meaning one brings the other into existence. You have to know a bad day to appreciate a good day. You can't have success without failure, or at least the risk of failure. You can't have triumph without struggle, since there would be nothing to triumph over. You can't fly without wind resistance. The negative reality not only exists, it is necessary! for us to appreciate the tremendous positivity that is also around.


Need both for a complete picture
I just don't dwell on negativity. I bring it up, it makes for good references, point out potential areas of growth, identify problems, resolve issues and conflicts. Don't dwell, condemn, or complain, basic rules from Dale Carnegie.

III. The Positive Side of Negativity
That feeling of negativity can be good in the long-run, a blessing in disguise, if it pushes you to try harder.  It can also discourage and crush a soul. But you gotta know what it feels like to hit the ground first, before bouncing back.

That's the Earth




As the article from the New Yorker suggests, negative thinking can push people to try harder, over-prepare, and apply themselves more than optimism and over-confidence.

For more on negative space art, do a Google search.

3/05/2014

My Experience of Mardi Gras, New Orleans

Happy Ash Wednesday! 

It's my first year in New Orleans! Because of that, I'm less experienced than most people around here. A Mardi Gras virgin. I learned a bit from asking natives and locals about their experiences of Mardi Gras. Talked to teachers, friends, friends' parents, students... mostly because I thought it would be fun to listen to them, and also because they probably enjoyed talking and being listened to.

I. First Things First
So first, I'd clear up the misconception that Mardi Gras is a 24/7 "Girls Gone Wild" party. It's not really like that. But you can find that if you want, on the same street you always find it. Bourbon. HAHAH. A lot of the festivities take place all over the city, and are family-oriented, appropriate for all ages.

Zulu Parade Float
II. What I Saw
There are a lot of parades! The weeks-long schedule of parades was probably the main thing the sets New Orleans apart (from other cities who celebrate the same day). Elaborately decorated floats, occupied by drunk people in costume, throwing beads and other goodies at screaming audiences. Catching stuff is fun. It's hard to go wrong. The floats were accompanied by marching bands, music, confetti, and cops. Sometimes horses.

I only went to one Saturday parade. Endymion. It was pretty awesome. Didn't take any pictures though, only Snapchats. Made off with a heavy neck full of beads. Had to get there early to avoid traffic. Partook in some libations, but not much. It was a lot of fun though!

The audience is pretty diverse, pretty much everyone is outside on the streets. People camped out in the middle and sides of the street. Some barbecued. Some broiled crawfish. It was a familiar and lovely smell.
It's soooo delicious. Crispy, soft, cream-filled.
I got introduced to King Cake, which is delicious from Hi-Do Bakery! Got it stuffed with the cream cheese. Toooo good. Need another.

III. My Mardi Gras
On Mardi Gras day itself, the weather was pretty cold, rainy. I didn't do anything crazy. Went to the supermarket. A parade rolled by in front of my neighborhood. But I stayed away from the parades/parties in the city, just to rest, avoid the mess, and take care of things at home. Cooked. My life is pretty mild these days, don't feel the urge to party or have alcohol my system. In a time when I see a lot of "turning up," I suppose I turn at my own pace.

Post-Mardi Gras clean-up on Bourbon Street

I saw enough to get a sense of what it was, and I loved it, but I guess I didn't see much at all yet. Will wait until 2015 to experience more.

I'm grateful to have had this "Mardi Gras break." It gave me an opportunity to de-stress (started it off with a massage), and to spend quality time with myself, away from the pressures of work. I made time to meditate, reflect, stretch, and clean up the neglect (cleaned my car, room, dishes, etc.). And of course, like on Valentine's Day, I danced to my heart's content. Much-needed. I love Mardi Gras.

IV. In Conclusion,
My curiosity about the tradition led to some internet digging, and I learned some new things...

Mardi Gras is not a strictly New Orleans thing. Cities around the Gulf celebrate it, and it's also a part of something much bigger, and worldwide. Here's a really good article about all the Mardi Gras celebrations around the world, from Brazil to Italy.
http://www.10news.com/news/how-mardi-gras-is-celebrated-around-the-world-03032014

In the end, it's not a party thing, it's a spiritual thing. And the real journey starts on Ash Wednesday and continues for 40 days, 40 nights. I'm giving up some vices. Can't discuss it publicly though.

Have a blessed Lent season, eat lots of lentils!